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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Makmende Breakfast

How to prepare the ultimate Makmende breakfast
The question that came to my mind when i heard about this Makmende hoolabaloo was, can he cook? certainly not as good as me, but then if he is that awesome, what cant he do? he should try one of my recipes and lets see if he survives.
Any way, I thought I should make one special dish for this Kenyan man, should be a nice power breakfast for him or any daring makmende fan.

 -one whale-live
-kryptonian rock
-sukari nguru
-a sack of maize cobs
-chemical x

1. kill the whale by drowning it
2. stuff it with some high quality Kryptonian rock and maize cobs from the rear
3. marinade the whole thing with the chemical x and sukari nguru to add flavour
4. cook it in a makmende size sufuria and serve on an original makmende saucer
5. That should do it! if the dish is not salty enough, some gun powder will come in handy.

This should get this Makmende guy going for the better part of the morning, Bon apetit Makmende!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Mayai fry(or choma if u add a few mins at the end)

This is a recipe..It might or might not work for you, bt it does for me . . .Some times :)

So u want to cook an egg..But you got to Facebook or tweet still..Hmmm..Ok, lets see

1. Put your phone in the charger, or pocket (mobile Facebookers an Tweeple)

2. Make sure u hav al the ingredients. In this case, an egg and some fat/oil will do.You can write down the rest as we go on.

3. Kata kata kitunguu kwa (cut an onion into a) pan, put the oil in and put it on fire. At this point, u can check ur facebook notifications, retweets, mentions ,mgs, change status or read other peoples stuff. Except some peoples  notes, they are always long na kitunguu itaungua (and the onion will burn) .

4. Im assuming u aren't dum,so when the kitunguu iko (onion is) goldn brown, put nyanya (tomatoes). I prefer 1 big 1. Do that thng wit the spoon (read stir.. I guess :) mpaka nyanya ikuwe pasty, or sticky, depending where u bought them.

5. At ths point, you cn add al those other wierd things, hoho, biriganya, dania, masala, garlic .Etc. (google them)

6. Beat the egg on2 the pan, or in2 a cup if u aren't sure ni poa and do that thng wit the spoon, vigorously B4 it sticks 2 the pan until it coagulates(@!#* whatever that means), at ths point, you can add anything thats already cooked. e.g Rice, ug, mboga, spagz, gith,etc. (Google them)

7. Continue doing that thing with the spoon and  you can start eating .You can also update ur status or comment or re-tweet or whatever it is that you do best.

8. Poesha moto, and eat from the pan, or leav it longer, see what comes of it, and give it a name!..Later consume it at ur own risk.

9. There u hav it! Ofcourse its easier 2 jus beat an egg over sm hot fat but hey, we can always get more creative..Im thinkin of a creative way 2 cook ugali..Hmmmm, any Ideas?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Pancakes simplified Crazy!

After much trial n error. . . N by error i mean near disaster. . Tryin to kuk the perfect pancakes. . I dono how my mum or my frnd  does it,bt i never ask for recipes. . .I decided enuf was enuf, i needed a shortcut to make em, i tried sprinkling exe into mayai as it kukd, n that dint turnout to b a pancake,rather some wierd lukin unga omlette.I ate it anyway . .Then thats when the so cald lyt bulb lit on top of my head, n it worked! So, lemi share my 'secret'

1. Beat an egg (sio mangumi) into a plate or pan.

2. Soak some slices of bread wit the beaten egg.

3. Before you soak the bread, u myt as wel put a pinch of salt, sugar, blah blah. . .Or watever u take in ur pancake.

4. After soaking, fry your bread or roast it if thats wat u do to ur pancakes.

5.  If the stuff u have fried dsnt taste lyke pancakes, go bk to step 1, u hav done it wrong.

 P.S. My secret ingredient was the bread, incase u misd it :).

P.S.S.   Try this at home.

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